Mom

Thanks for calming me down.

You have a way of making the big things smaller things.

Thanks for being so solid and consistant. you are so strong and i don't know how you do it.

Thanks for being so generous. you give more than i have ever seen in anyone.

You don't give up, you stick it out.

Thank you for being an example.

I- Love- You.

All she wanted..

Clinicals are, well, not as exciting as i anticipated this term. I mean we're only into the third week so anything could happen..

I guess I am so used to my teacher last term. The breath of fire constantly breathing down my back, the structured militant schedule, the unrealistic expectations and nothing less, stress and tension.. but I learned so much and in the end it was pressure that was necessary. Sometimes we need to be broken down. It brings out the truth and it certainly makes you think about things differently.. it is just what it is.

But I'm kind of bored now. Don't get me wrong, its nice to have a break from harsh words, stress and tension. One can only take so much.
I just feel like I should be doing more.. something more exciting and more thrilling than cleaning poop. I can't even begin to tell you how much poop i have encountered these past few weeks. It's part of the job... yes.. and I do it. But i want to do more!!
I did a physical assessment. I gave them a bath. I lathered up their feet with lotions and potions. I took their vitals.

I walked into each and every room on the unit, I asked each patient if they needed anything.. another bath..food.. water.. anything. i just wanted to stay busy.

then i walked into this woman's room. 3606. End stage renal disease. Diabetes. Hypertension. and one diagnosis not documented.. Lonely.
I introduced myself to her and told her who I was and why I was there. She didnt speak any English. Just Spanish. So my bilingual skills were put to the test.. my bilingual LISTENING skills that is..
I didn't talk much.
I didn't need to..

I just needed to stand there. And I did.
She unleashed. Words overlapping eachother.. barely breathing in between sentences. She spoke with such emotion and purpose. She wanted to be heard..
The reality of her words surfaced her hidden tears. It was all coming out..
She clearly felt alone.

I thought, maybe she'll have a cath I can asses or pull out. Maybe she might want a bath. Maybe she wants me to take her tray of food..
No. She said she eats "poco a poco" a little at a time. Preoccupied with the fact that she just had insulin she wanted to do things right.
But mostly she needed someone to just be there. to stand there. to listen.
All she wanted was someone to listen.

instead I wanted a treatment a procedure.

and maybe next week i will have a treatment or procedure.. then i'll wish i had her to talk to. ha.
everyone has something to teach..
you think you are there to treat and teach them but in the end they end up teaching you. moving you to tears... getting you to think about something other than yourself..
and trust me, i need that. something other than... "fill in the blank"

makes me think of life.. and how things just are and they go on. and people teach you so much along the way.
"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it." ~Anais Nin

thank you to the woman in 3606. i hope she feels better.

Good Morning Thursday

a prayer from my journal this morning...

Good morning Thursday. Thank you for another day, another breath, another song, another opportunity to seek and experience joy.

Thank you for being broke.. and may I be taught responsibility and faith and hard work.

Help me to continue to look straight ahead, but not too far that I get distracted from where I am at right now.

Whether I am doing yoga, reading, working at the hospital, teaching, being still; wherever I am may i relish in that moment.

May I soak in accomplishment, not worrying so much about what I can't control.

May I open myself and allow the universe to take over, flood in and teach me what I need to learn.

"May the sunshine called joy be my faithful companion."

Pneumonia

You want to learn something? I do too.. come on this nursing school journey with me and lets learn stuff. :)

Not only is it important for me to know this information to make a good grade and pass nursing school..but most importantly and this is why I am doing this; To be educated to treat as well as educate any readers. Prevention.

That word sums up a lot of what nurses do. Yes we care, and that is a huge component.. but we don't want you to get sicker than you already are!

So I'm learning about respiratory disorders right now in school. This topic is so critical for nurses because so many patients (of all ages) are admitted or develope this respiratory infection that if left untreated can be fatal.

Pneumonia.

What is it?

Pnemonia is an inflammation of the lung parenchyma caused by various microorganisms that include mycobacteria, fungi and viruses. Pneumonitis is a more general term that describes the inflammatory process within the lung tissue that places the patient at risk for a microbial invasion.

Pneumonia and influenza are the most common cause of death from infectious diseases in th US! Accounting for nearly 60,000 deaths. So ya... we need to be on our toes with this.

You may know of someone who has had this. I had chronic pneumonia as a child.

There are 2 types of pneumonia: Community- aquired (CAP) or Hospital-aquired (HAP)

Community of course just as it is worded is aquired within the community setting. If severity and complication developes then the patient is hospitalized. More than 915,000 cases develope in adults 65 and older. Also influenza is a type of CAP that frequently affects the elderly or those with comorbid illnesses (COPD, alchoholism, diabetes mellitus) as well as those who are immunocompromised.

The other type HAP also known as nosocomial pneumonia is defined as the onset of symptoms more than 48 hrs after hospital admission in patients with no evidence of pre-exisiting infection. So how does a patient develope pneumonia in the hospital?

Prolonged supine (flat) positioning in a hospital bed, aspiration (fluid content from the stomach coming back up) prolonged hospitalization which allows for bacteria to invade an already impaired host, hypotension (low blood pressure),metabolic disorders, and malnutrition. Oh, and lets not forget...immobility. thats huge. If a patient does not simply move to walk they are at risk for atelectasis which is a collapse of the aveoli which can lead to serious respiratory distress.

The list continues...

So now what am I as a nurse going to do about this?

Assessment is crucial. The patient may demonstrate symptoms such as fever, chills, night sweats, pleuritic- type pain (plueral space within the lining of the lungs), fatigue, weight loss, tachypnea (rapid breathing) coughing and purulent sputum (mucus thats infected and discolored)

Upon assessing and confirming these findings, being sure that the patient has a patent airway, the head of the bed is elevated to at least 30 degrees, administration of prescribed medication and analgesics (pain reducers) to promote comfort, enforce liquids and proper nutrition as protocol.

Have you ever been hospitalized? Do you remember that doo-hickey on the side of your bed that you use to inhale?

That's called an incentive spirometer. That is a huge preventative measure for atelectasis and pneumonia. Suck in air into that baby 10 times every hour while awake!

so there is a little insight into a nurses responsibility with this specific illness.

Stay healthy!

'Eat, Pray, Love' James Taylor

eat, pray, love. i loved this movie. it was just like the book. and i actually read the book.

i can so relate.

i have a really hard time stilling my mind. letting go.

externally i seem somewhat calm but my mind is racing.. racing with things i simply have no control over.

i love this scene.

Kirk Franklin - Imagine Me

I love music.

It's Sunday. I was flippin though the radio stations this morning and decided to listen to Gospel Jams! haha. that is one thing, i will always love me some good soulful gospel music. this song was playing at that very moment. This was a song that brought me great comfort some years back and it still resonates today.

Enjoy..

Some thoughts on this word- Salvation.

So i looked up images for "salvation" and all that came up were pictures of robots and what seemed to be scenes from the movie Terminator. So i'll just have to use my imagination on this one here .

While I was eating some spanish rice and hummus, the trail of thoughts began which led me to this word- salvation.
What thoughts were in this meandering trail? Well i was thinking of people being good and doing good things and how that began and who set the examples before us.
All of a sudden I came to an enlightening hault. Salvation.

What comes to mind when you think of salvation?

Being preserved from harm. Security. Deliverance from the power and penalty of sin. Redemption. Saving a soul from an eternity of damnation. walking down an isle and accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior to then realize later on in life like Langston Hughes, you did it because of peer pressure- or because the pastor prayed that you would get a flat tire on the way home so you would be convicted of your need for salvation (true story).

My mind- and this is my mind of course.. " of a mind so predisposed" to thinking about this within the christian context.

because i am deeply spiritual i have discovered that one can cross over boundaries.. your mind can go beyond the confines. and i love that.... i absolutely love that.

so when i thought of this word my thoughts led me to: "well, i don't want to say hey people i don't really care for the defintion of salvation; but more of- how can this word be thought of differently? what can we add to it? is that ok? i think so..

Can salvation be like a teacher? a great teacher.. who sets exceptional examples of love and goodness and learning. Jesus, Anne Lamot, Liz Gilbert, Vicky Taylor, Bhagavad Gita.
A parent/ parents? raising their children desiring to keep them from harm.
A pet? a dog that loves unconditionally.
A firefighter who really saves you from the fire!
A friend? even a broken heart?

it's because of these things-these people, we learn and love and learn to love better and develope into good human beings.