Whatever comes to mind

I feel inspired today. Being in a different setting always stirs up good things within me. A space.
with noise i create. not the noise that rings a loud high pitched sound accompanied by fox news in the background ..a continuous new commentary of how fucked up our nation is.

ah. well beats antique in the background. an emotional emancipation of sorts. and i write.

Finding your way to your center.
what does that look like?
to be grounded in your being. the Ground of Being. just being.
a mix of splendid and frightening. lets begin with the splendid.
and as the frightening is approached. "rather than struggling against it, surrender into it"

and the current? the current of our lives. this rings true with regards to the pursuit (my, your, our pursuit) of authenticity
"those who swim with the current finish...
those who swim with the current finish dead...
those who swim with the current finish dead to
what might have been
if they swam against it."

balance.
the core. the nucleus. the driver. the answer or the question.

awareness.
a stone. a taste. a representation of purification. a nearness you feel with oneself and others.

A vigorous cry

The sound of life. A loud cry.
I've been hearing this for the past 3 weeks. Piercing and loud. haha.
The Ballard test determines the baby's maturity in comparison to their gestation. So one assessment being "a vigorous cry" gets a score of 5! thats a good thing.

So today I got to see a cesarean section (c-section). the entire process!! Epidural, incision, baby ...placenta. Unreal. I am still thinking about it!

oh, and want to know something suprising? A med student that was with us in the OR fainted. Seriously. so i ran over to her when she took her fall to make sure she was conscious. The doctors continued with the procedure as if nothing had occured.

It made me proud to be a nurse in training...helping a doctor in training.

Babies are insane. a miracle. and so are moms. I dont know if this is the area i want to work in but i sure love being in the operating room. this was the first time for me.

Everyone works as a team. A circulating nurse making sure everyone is where they need to be and supplies are available. A respitory therapist ready when the baby is born to assess the airway. A nurse anesthetist administering anesthesia..

So much happening!

And then there's me. haha. just standing in awe, watching, wondering, anxiously waiting, wishing i was working as a nurse already. But im in an operating room! Im seeing a baby being brought to life! A vigorous cry that signifies life and breath.